Back to the drawing board

So here I am again after a long hiatus from the blogging world. As I enter this new transitional phase of life, I figured its as good a time as any to start documenting my thoughts. Reflection in writing is therapeutic to me and goodness knows I may need some therapy to carry me through the changes in store. I'm struggling with the notion of leaving 6 years of history in Stevens Point, 6 years of relationships, a church family, my best friends. I have roots there! Walking away from that is hard to consider, harder still to process and I feel like I have to completely start over. A new phase of life... back to the drawing board of my life design. I pray that these changes revolve around glorifying God.

Speaking of changes, I start my new job as a "Speech Pathologist" at St. Joseph's Hospital on Tuesday. I've potentially never been so intimidated in my entire life. I have a bachelors and masters degree, I've theoretically been well prepared, but the moment I was handed my name badge that said "Melanie B. Speech Pathologist" I temporarily stopped breathing. What am I doing? I don't feel ready, qualified or mentally engaged enough to take that next step. I impressed them in my interview, I was highly sought after, I have been given phenomenal recommendations from people who know me and are acutely aware of my clinical skills, but the world has seen something I've not yet claimed. Heavenly Father help me!

In my devotions yesterday I was reading Acts 3-4 and a common theme was boldness. Oh how I desire to have boldness for Christ. And what a perfect time for that as well! No one in my new job knows me, I have a reputation to build... I could not possibly ask for a better opportunity to set myself up as an on fire Christian, but that's easier said than done. The thing that struck me in my reading was that Peter and Paul asked for boldness... and the Holy Spirit delivered! My heartfelt prayer is that I approach our Father with sincerity, asking for boldness and believing that he WILL deliver! I cannot be defeated when my support is the One who created me.

There's too much to process. Emotions haven't set in yet and I'm fearing the form they may take. This is the time I need to cling to my Saviour.